They Stolen My GoPro Story and How I got it back

There's so much to unpack here... however, the best way to make you live my brain phases is to take you through the journey I had.

The Filini's gang on the last day of February, clearly a special leap one, decided to go to BDOS. It's really fun and offers a lot of variety in cross country efforts. Really good for building up muscle structure and develop jumping skills.

After the ride, which by the way was super as my (now found) Garmin shows.

The last three jumps are off the Super Charge segment, my favorite kamikaze trail at BDOS.
Anyway... we get back to the car after our traditional ~10 miles of fun and sweat. I am fairly methodical when it comes to save time. Leaving my bike stuff container a mess means waste more time later on it to clean, fix, search, unpack and all that. Therefore, because time is opportunity and wasting time is...well wasted opportunities, I put everything back as I usually do and particularly doing a better job then normally with my devices.

My devices (Garmin Edge 530 and brand new GoPro 8!) in their own (transparent) protective bag. There's one thing that I had not done and out of laziness, close the lid of the plastic container but nothing was sticking out and everything was covered by my dirty and manly smelly clothes that I figure ehhh... what the heck, let it breath!

After the ride we stop somewhere to just invalidate the whole effort of losing calories, so burger King was selected. Very unsatisfying I may rate the return of fat and calories. I always have my phone with me but that morning I just happened to leave it by accident in the garage where my container was setup for the ride. It's important because if the phone had been with me the moment that my devices would have left range I would have noticed it!

We were shoveling a burger down the esophagus channel when two kids (9yo, a she and a 11yo a boy that hasn't dropped testicles yet) where playing, in their own words "grand theft auto video game in real life". In pretending to pull the handle of cars and jumping on the wheel and running away. When they hit out car they realized that it was unlocked. We always park the car by entrance of any restaurant while keeping an eye on the bikes. But this time around were a lot more relaxed so much that we sat to the opposite side of the door.

Leaving the car unlocked it is a new thing for us. On some trails we drag bikes and then try to repair them with the right tools..., on occasion we try to rescue bikes dragged while leaving the car on and without pulling the breaks. So that we ram into incoming vehicles. When the vehicle is actually stopped we search for mice or Steven's items. It's a lifestyle that you can't fully comprehend and most importantly appreciate, unless you have good friends and sports in common. You should try, your cortisol level will drop by the week, promised!

I digress... Ignoring all that happened we get back to the car and go home. I look for my devices thinking "before I adopted this new protocol of storing everything back, I used to leave my shit in the car, but this time I know I have been more diligent".

Several hours later and a stream of messages with Steven's and Cristiano,

I end up going through the various stages of grief moments.
Image result for stage of grief
 Like this dude.

My friend Cristiano advises to use my car insurance to get something back. My wife advises to file a police report but then we all came to the same conclusion that with all Corona's and murders around who's going to give an actual shit about my $800 of digital data weightery pleasure?! So I call it
Image result for stage of fuck moment

And I head back to the shed where I am building my Hydrogen generator. For which Steven's is happy that I don't have yet access to quantum related tools... can't blame the guy given my knowledge exploring record... 

I am in the shed taking pictures of my process to build my HHO generator when I realize that I need additional light for better pictures. I go in the house searching for one and I see my used coupon of GoPro cloud sync. The blood in my veins boils for the lost items back again!

I start searching for options. This was very useful. More than useful given that it gave me a lead to figure out the smart BT config for the GoPro 8. This was very hopeful and somewhat entertaining.

I was about to get back to the shed when I realized "AH! What if my Cloud Sync trial still configured on the camera... If they get curious about what's on the camera they want to see the footage. They will attach the camera to a BT enabled device and it will trigger the cloud sync..." it was a LOOOOONG shot but I figured... fuck it, I am going to waste some time to to give it a shot.

I doctored a video "we got you, bring it to police" still of three minutes with some scary audio taken from YouTube. Dropped into the Gopro cloud and then headed to the police department to file a report of stolen goods.

At 11:30PM I receive a notification from GoPro app on the phone that my content has been sync'd! I got super excited but I had no way of retrieve which IP was used to retrieve the content and I know it wasn't me :-). - I went to bed thinking of all possible options and the night pretty much went down like this:

VERY early in the morning but likely for me a few minutes after I had left the bed I get two phone calls from the police "we have new information, come here...". One of which went to the voicemail and the other I was lucky to get in on time!

When I asked if they had found it the didn't confirm anything and insisted to visit the station. I kept thinking why all this mystery. Everything became more clear when I got there. KIDs are involved...
Image result for stealing kids

Kids stolen my devices once they noticed them through the clear plastic of the container. The older kid walked in first, he wasn't sure about the crime he had just committed (opening a car that he doesn't own) so he took the devices back in the container and was about to leave the car. However, the younger girl (sister), a criminal mastermind with a future of Perry Mason for Al Capone's clientele put pressure on him to get the devices and hide. This is the boy recounting of the events. The girl didn't dispute beside yelling at the brother "he didn't need to know that, such a fag!" - a this point the father stood up and the kids moved into a corner but young Dora Explorer the baby criminal wasn't backing down.

I don't know what was more out of the ordinary in the whole event. The huge (maybe 7'?) tall father that looked like a hungry ogre when looking at the kids that were crying and yelling at once and his Notre Dame's face when was looking at me in shame of what had happened and asking to not press charge. 

He was also VERY concerned about his IP being logged because he asked multiple times if he had to do anything since it was his phone that was used to see "to whom the camera belonged to..."

There's more to it but I need to get back to what actually allows me to buy those expensive devices and laugh about it while I still giggling at the idea that sometimes the most low tech attempt leads to feel like this.
Image result for stage of fuck moment

On my way back to the office for some reason my car decided to connect to the phone via BT instead than CarPlay where I have more pumping music - this song popped up.

I was so buzzed by the whole "I got them back" and "I got those fuckers" that even the march wedding background was feeling like the concert I am going this weekend for my birthday!!


Can be all summarizable in one meme.



Popular posts from this blog

Bring Boxee Box back to life

Postgres on Synology

Zen-inification - The art of decluttering